The endless flow of thoughts I have in my mind accumulates into an intolerable feeling of helplessness, and I was brought to many close and violent bouts with my own sanity. In a desperation to lose myself from the pressures, I treaded into the world of the night, drowning myself with liquor and seeking companionship with shady characters and other lost men & women.

Nights like these were colorful in a bittersweet way, and I'd met many a people whom one wouldn't usually bother to know. Expats, sex addicts, assholes, pimps, working girls, divorced businessmen, pill-poppers, alcoholics, middle-aged single women, single mothers, pub dancers, massage palour girls, lonely men, lonely women, girl-boys, boy-girls, jaded artists, wannabe singers, alpha males, show-offs, poor bartenders.... all complex lives with their own circumstances. But in the night, as we laugh ourselves crazy with booze and chit-chats under the loud music, we held on tightly a common bond as dissidents from the normal society, desperately seeking solace from our own struggles with life.

But I knew that I can never deceive myself.